Ashley and her daddy...:-)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

oh...the beginning....


At this point, i don't even know if I can remember the beginning. Right now, so many things are jumbled together. Nevertheless, I am going to attempt to share our journey with you guys! Welcome to the Rideout family..:-) We were just the two of us until the Lord touched us with a tiny blessing in our lives....and when i say tiny, I only mean in size. This word jumble the technology world calls a blog is an attempt for us to share with you the fringes of the journey that the Lord is taking us on - and all the ups and downs in between - on the road to our little Ashley. At this time, she is 2 and 3/4 years old and still a legal resident of Haiti..she is beautiful (of course we think so) and growing and so full of life.. and we are hoping soon that she will be ours through the joy of adoption. But when I say ours, I really just mean God's. I've been challenged to see her as God's forever, but I lapse a whole lot..so bear with us as we balance on the fence of anticipation......knowing that God has shown us a promise.......but only really one....that we are to LOVE Ashley...in whatever form that may take as we move forward in life. I know that we were destined to love her, but I would also pray that she be able to be in our home. We have so many obstacles in our way, but we are praying earnestly that she would be with us sooner than later! In the meantime, we visit her often and pray continually, serve in any way we can and desire to support Haiti and the orphanage that has stolen our hearts and our affections as much as possible. Thus far since March, I have been back and forth to Haiti four times working in the clinics and visiting Ashley, and Matt has been once. As some of you already know, we tried desperately to get Ashley to the states in March on a humanitarian medical parole, but our efforts were thwarted when USCIS deemed her "not sick enough" to come to the states. Our hearts were very broken, but we also know, even when we don' think we have the strength to believe, that God's timing is perfect. So, this account, here on these virtual pages, is my attempt to allow you a glimpse into our journey. My prayer is that you would see the glory of God, that you would live this journey with us, and that we would be open and honest with our struggles, both successes and failures. Thank you for joining us.....I am going to attempt to write, from the beginning, how it all started. If you get tired of reading, know that I will understand.....you are not the first person (and will not be the last) to see my verbose personality and run..:-) but for those who hang in there, I hope that my words are honey to you. They may hurt at times, and you may cry. Know that if I had paper in front of me instead of a keyboard, you would see tear stains forever embedded in the words of this story of ours. But I pray you will also find laughter and hope and encouragement and a son and daughter of the king doing our best to be honest with the longings of our heart. So here goes....
:-) Oh, and, i will not be able to finish this whole story tonight.....so tune into the next entry for the saga....:-)

In March of this year, I was reeling from the aftermath of the earthquake that had happened in Haiti and, having never been there pre-earthquake, had no idea the real toll it had taken on the people there. Of course when the news started rolling on January 13th that this already impoverished country had taken such a hit, everyone, including myself was looking for ways to help. One of my first thoughts ran to all the children - wandering aimlessly, separated from friends and family, some to circumstances and others forever to death. I was not alone in my thoughts to help, as evidenced by the multitudes of volunteers sent to aid over the last 6 months . My first thought was "of course I'll go" and mainly because that is ALWAYS my first thought when there is a national/international emergency. I know God gave me my nursing gene for a reason and I always want to be of help, but I also always want to fix things, which isn't such a good quality, mainly because, well I'm not God and it's not my job to fix things or be in control..:-) Well, needless to say....Haiti was not in my hands to fix. So, as the reports continued to roll across media outlets everywhere, I searched and prayed for an area to help, assuming that my chance to go was impossible. You see, I have a full-time job, and well, typically, bosses would like for you to go to work....:-) I had given up on chances to go, but in the back of my head hoped that something would happen over the summer....oh yeah..and the thought of all of those children kept coming back to me.

Fast forward 2-3 weeks or so and I received a facebook message from Sarah Scott letting me know of an opportunity that might involve helping in the disaster. As we talked and I made contact with the coordinator, sweet Sara Sealine, I realized it was probably a shot in the dark to go since I had only a two week window with which to organize a trip. Low and behold, there was a spot for me when spring break was scheduled. I was beside myself with excitement, anticipation, and an anxiety I had never felt before. I had traveled overseas for school, to do mission work in 3rd world countries multiple times, but never in this capacity. I posted my intentions to go on as many areas as possible with the plea for medical supplies and soon and both supplies and a traveling partner in my new dear friend, Nina Snoddy. She and I spoke multiple times in the few weeks before we left and didn't meet until we jumped in the car to make the drive to Knoxville, but it was evident from the start why God had put us together.

I am getting very tired and have been challenged to go to bed a little earlier than usual...so I am going to stop here. I'm not really sure where I will pick up the history again because I have so much to write here about current things........it may take me a while...but i am determined to get it down so as to never forget what God has done....what marvelous and wonderful things our God has done.....He gives and he takes away....blessed be the name of the Lord
I'll leave you with this collection of verses......one of my favorites that is holding me as we walk this tough journey....Isaiah 30:15-21
Goodnight, my friends.....thank you for waiting with us..:-)